Thursday, October 18, 2007

2008 Election: 16 "memoirs" to throw in the Fire

Winter is approaching so it's to grab a nice book and settle in next to the fire. Luckily just reviewed 16 "memoirs" of our "presidential" candidates . Apparently they all believe they have something important to say. But to who? You see..all the problems with these 'memoirs' are that the candidates are writing them from a first person perspective. They are viewing themselves through hindsight and telling US not who they are, but who they wish they could be.

So let me save you the time. Curl up, grab your hot chocolate..and throw those memoirs in the fire. Here are the books reduced down to a sentence. In case you don't want to struggle through the four pages worth of reviews. Or worse...suffer through one of the 'masterpieces' yourself.
  • Romney thinks he and his boys can lead the nation because of the Olympics in Utah
  • Barack offers HOPE and Progress from his childhood although not so sure of his father
  • Kucinich has a "prayer" people would listen to him
  • Tancredo sees Danger when he thinks of tacos
  • Hillary tells us she's not dead, but with her we might be
  • McCain speaks of a never ending fight even when he's ran out of money and almost life itself
  • Edwards makes sure everybody knows he's a lawyer, a hedgie, too
  • Ron Paul offers foreign policy and dreams of the main stream media paying attention to him
  • Biden offers up more broken promises and a divide Iraq, much like his life
  • Gravel grovels about being an uber citizen from the past that sounds like Grandpa
  • Rudy..just a pathetic, criminal who wants to lead but is bound to a code of ethics worthy of the devil
  • Brownback's "I am religion" with a touch of compassion..if you believe in 'God'
  • Dodd offers up his dad as a 'censured' U.S. Senator for being 'shady' but redeemed by being a Nuremberg war prosecutor
  • Huckabee delivers 12 step to 'slim down' America
  • My name is Bill Richardson and I am a the reluctant diplomat
  • ...and Thompson reminds everybody he was a mole to Nixon, attached to the Watergate scandal. Nixon thought Fred was 'dumb'...and that his little red truck is broken down...just like he is.
Save US all. I liked it a lot better when historians wrote about "analyzed" history, rather than a bunch of Status Quo political puppets yelping about how perfect they are in the present. Memoirs..ssshheesh even, Lynne Cheney has written hers...and that's a story worth telling. Life with delusional Dick has to be interesting, yet still she fails and tells US a brokeback mountain story instead.... please... "the dick" has subverted Democracy.....

Same Players. Different Scandal.

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