Parents throughout the United States have been in a frenzy over the amount of toy recalls lately. Scared parents have been searching through their children's toy boxes for 'Made in China' lead based toys. Fearing the worst...toys are being discarded almost as fast as the Chinese can make them. Upon further investigation...the Parents Advisory Board for Crappy Outsourced Toys, has declared that the John McCain toy doll has the highest quantity of lead in their product. Stating,
"....the McCain doll...is a major concern of ours....That damn doll...it's a Monster..when you pull the cord to make John speak....it sprays lead based slobber all over the room. To make matters worse...when it stops slobbering..the toy goes on an Iraq warmongering rant for nearly 5 full minutes. Rest assured though..according to our records...there has only been 2 sold worldwide." PABCOTHearing this last bit of intrigued me even more...Who bought these dolls for their children? I proceeded to McCain's Iowa stop for answers. Upon arriving at the event I saw two sickly children and a set of cheery parents. These must be the culprits I thought to myself. Approaching them cautiously...I questioned,"why would you buy these dolls for your children? Haven't you heard?" In a short retort they replied in unison,
" we are neo cons, damn it. Soon everyone will be required to play with their McCain dolls before bedtime. Don't you support our troops? Damn liberal "bloggers and those who support them".To my surprise..when confronted with the 'made in china' lead based paint issue with
their dolls, McCain replied gleefully
"are you kidding...I still have supporters. This is the best news I've received all week. Thanks..Perhaps they need a ride somewhere...I need someone to chip in for gas in order to get to my next campaign stop..that damn Straight Talk Express is eating away the little funds I have left. Otherwise I'll be catching a ride with Tancredo...we're both ' nuts .' ...sorry I must go..I have a late night backroom 4th Branch strategy session I must attend." Same Players. Different Scandal.
John McCain to sell Straight Talk Express..any takers?