Friday, August 3, 2007

John McCain to sell Straight Talk Express..any takers? there I was...Sitting at the bus stop eating my ham and cheese sandwich when out of the corner of my eye I caught what appeared to be John McCain sitting on the end of the bench. Upon further investigation I realized it was him. "Hi there, John...what gives, why are you sitting here all alone?", I questioned. Startled that someone was actually talking to him, McCain replied,
" Have you not been watching my campaign lately? All my old bros, hate me. I went from being Reagan's prodigal son to this. A washed up old man who can't keep his finances straight. Heck, I've even given up on my immigration stance for them. Nothing . Nothing is what I've got. Geez, even that blowtard Obama stole my thunder by saying he'd bomb Iran too. I'd bomb Iran first, damn it. I said it first..I even sang it to my constituents. Remember...bomb,bomb, Iran... I have no thunder left." placing his head in his hands.
Finishing my sandwich I was still at a loss to why he would be at the bus stop. How could this man...with all these financial backers, years of experience, a P.O.W., and a supporter of 'W', be all washed up. The election is still on. "Excuse me sir, I'm still a little confused. Why are you here? The response that I received was perhaps the most candid I've ever received...politician or not.
"Well....early on we (campaign) were spending money like every other GOP candidate. I thought it was all good. I mean...we didn't have money like that damn Mormon guy...but we did okay. Lieberman and I support this war or terror. We are behind the "resident in the oval office"...I thought they had my back. I thought I would receive more funds from them. Guess what, ham and cheese ( I took this as a term of endearment), I got nothing. They let me roll over...they threw me in the pool without my lil' floaty things....and now I'm struggling. Hey spare any of your crust from your sandwich...I'm starving."
Saddened by my response,.."I'm sorry...none left", McCain appeared disillusioned with facing poverty. What are you going to do to stay in the 2008 election cycle? Will you be able to continue on? Smiling from ear to ear.
"I'll do fine. Just fine. We've sold the Straight Talk Express for one. After seeing Al Gore III get his Prius up to 105 mph, I had an idea. I realize the thousands of dollars saved by using a hybrid. Plus it has an added bonus. Besides its fuel will also provide a speedy getaway at my next appearances. If you've seen my crowds lately...a speedy getaway is a plus", exclaimed McCain.
Aaahhh. Don't be so down on'll bounce back...Won't you? After all, you were the candidate to beat in '04. You will be just fine...Stand proud John. They will come around to you.
" Sure they will..sure. In the meantime, do you think you can lend me bus fare? Since I got the hybrid I haven't been able to get it insured. I'm pinching everything I can. Every penny....Care to help an old man out" McCain said depressingly
Nope sorry John..Nothing for you. Perhaps you shouldn't have stabbed all those independents in their back. It didn't feel good, John. In fact....just think..If you would've listened to yourself you would not be in this mess. Instead you buddied up with the 4th Branch and continue to perpetuate this horrible war of terror. Say's my a month... when you're ready to sell that hybrid give me a call. I'm sure you could use the spare change. Next time, don't screw over your base.
"but 'w' said......I'll be fine...I'm his boy...I'm the next President. Damn it I walked through Baghdad's busy market for him. Rove promised me...he promised" screamed McCain
as I boarded the bus. Better luck next time, As&H*le. Start a bake sale! Settling into my seat I glanced back at poor lil' McCain sitting all by himself. Poor bastard. The electorate has its time to eat my other sandwich in PEACE.

Same Players. Different Scandal.

No comments: